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My earliest memory is of walking into the kitchen when I was two years old to find my parents fighting. My mom was crying and my dad was yelling. I tried to get their attention, to get them to love each other, but they didn't notice me. I looked at my dad in that moment … Continue reading Intention and the Impact of Touch

I've been thinking about sharing this for over a month, but hesitating because of the vulnerability. There was so much shame that came up. I am sharing it now in the hopes that if anyone can relate, they may feel encouraged and less alone.Last month, I was in a pickleball tournament in my hometown, surrounded … Continue reading Trauma Flashback at Pickleball?

Okay, another vulnerable post. On April 8th, I shared a post about my journey to realizing I prefer to be single. That was just part of the story. It's true, I am primarily in relationship with myself, learning to prioritize me for the first time in my life. But I am also a deep connector, … Continue reading Reclaiming My Sexual Sovereignty

[This is obviously an extremely personal subject, and not necessarily anyone's business. However, I share in hopes that I can encourage others who may relate, as well as help my friends understand where I am coming from in my connecting.]As someone who always considered myself a hopeless romantic, realizing that I prefer to be single … Continue reading Choosing to be Single…

Today was another crazy experiment in self-love through the laboratory of pickleball. I deal with Complex PTSD, which usually means that in stressful situations, or where there's high expectations and high emotions, I can easily go into freeze mode and play way below my level. It happens to me even in recreational play. When this … Continue reading Self-Love plus a Gold Medal

Even though I dreamed of being married since I was little, at this point I can't think about belonging to someone else when I'm still working on belonging to myself.I didn't belong to myself for the first decades of my life, and didn't even realize the powerlessness I was living in for many more years. … Continue reading Still Working on Belonging to Myself

This was such a daring declaration at the time, for subjects to hold their King accountable for the misuse of his authority. But as they dared to believe that peasants were as endowed with inalienable rights as kings, they didn't yet have the bandwidth to extend those rights to men of color, or to women. … Continue reading Independence Day

Healing is not a linear journey. Weight or body composition is just one aspect of health which for many of us is a varied reality. After being underweight for my early life, it took a lot of time and consistency to build up muscle. I felt shame for having been so small, and so my … Continue reading Healing is Neither Linear nor Static

I just wanted to say thank you to my friends. I'm actually kind of surprised to reflect that I have many friends, here on the Oregon coast and all over the planet. I'm so grateful. Not having friends for the majority of the first 23 years of my life, combined with the unique trauma I … Continue reading I Have Friends