What is your experience around sex/sexuality? It is such a taboo topic. A charged topic. Governments and religions have attempted to control it in civilized nations for thousands of years. People can feel shame for either lots or little experience. People can be shamed for either lots or little interest. If you believe the Bible then you believe God made it and said it was good, but can also struggle with assuming God judges you for being sexual. A romantic relationship doesn’t guarantee good sex or emotional intimacy. Nor does singleness. Sex and sexuality seem to be one area where people feel completely free to judge others, no holds barred, regardless of their own sexual state or history.
One’s sexuality, however it looks, is such an intimate part of who one is. I believe it takes tremendous vulnerability and transparency to have a healthy relationship with one’s own sexuality, let alone connect with full authenticity with anyone else at that level.
If you ever read my blog, “A Different Kind of Sexual Abuse,” you know I’ve had plenty of reason to contemplate what healthy sexuality looks like, how important sexual autonomy and personal sovereignty is to full consent and genuine connection, and how beautiful sexuality can be in all its different nuances. It’s amazing to understand that life force and creation/creativity comes through sexual energy/sex. New life literally comes from sex. Even living a vibrant and full existence can be seen as ‘making love to life,’ as my friend and mentor, Amanda, says. I definitely want to live life making love to it.
I used to equate purity of heart with being nonsexual. And yet I’ve come to understand that sexuality/life force/creativity is deeply and intimately connected to everything. Purity of heart is the love making of a lover, the vulnerability of expressing desire, and the respect that honors another’s personal sovereignty, along with their boundaries. I am always growing and healing in all of this, and it is my personal commitment to always pursue purity of heart in all its vulnerability and authenticity.
I think reclaiming our individual autonomy and sovereignty over our own sexuality is so important to personal and collective healing. Is there anything you’ve learned or healed through in your sexual journey that you care to share? Only if you are inspired and are up to whatever level of vulnerability. No shaming or condemning, please.