There’s something I’ve been thinking about. I know it’s a generalization, but see if it resonates with you. Men are overwhelmed by women. A woman is beautiful inside and out. Whether a woman is extremely feminine, or more masculine, more on the emotional side or the logical side, curvy or lean, women are complex and beautiful. And a woman who knows who she is and lives in her strength is even more vibrant and radiant. A woman’s internal and external beauty and power is overwhelming! As a man, I readily admit that it can make my brain go to mush.
But, I don’t think men often like feeling overwhelmed. It can make us feel uncertain, awe struck, and foolish. So instead of just letting the overwhelm happen, some men try to fix the discomfort by finding something wrong with the woman. She’s too emotional, she has too much skin showing, she’s trying to be the boss of me, she’s not being logical, she’s too much, or not enough. There’s a relentless historical precedent of women being the focus of control and limitation. Especially in religious circles, for some reason. And I think it is largely due to how uncomfortable it is to be overwhelmed. Of course there’s the other approach, usually non-religious, of treating women like they’re stupid and only good for their bodies until some women give up their brains and standards just to get some attention. Very sad, but that also decreases the overwhelm for men.
So, as a man, I want to be okay being overwhelmed by the complex, emotional, powerful, logical, remarkable, and brave beauty of all the women around me. Because I don’t want any woman to be less than she is just so some man can continue to be comfortable with being less than he is. I believe that for us men to learn to allow the overwhelm that comes from the brilliant and beautiful complexity of women, we must be able to connect with our own complex hearts, learning to acknowledge and love all that we ourselves are.
Women, I am so sorry for any and all the ways you’ve been shut down or shamed for being you. It was wrong and shouldn’t have happened. Shine, be powerful, be brilliant, be strong, be emotional, be everything you are, and never apologize for being you. I am committed to this. Shine on, beautiful ladies.